Bubba Claus sworn in to replace Santa for East Texas lake areas

Good article from a local paper here in East Texas enjoy the read and check them out.....
http://www.fishguidenews.com/

Creative Conclusion:
When I moved here back in 1978, I couldn't understand how come there were so many Bubba's.
Bubba Anderson, Bubba Smith, Bubba Ambroz, then it dawned on me bubba means -
Boy-U-Better-Be-American = Bubba!
Enjoy the article!


Bubba Claus sworn in to replace Santa for East Texas lake areas!
By Bubba B. Tuff
Well boys and girls Santa’s contract has been renegotiated and it directly effects Lake Fork , Bob Sandlin, and Lake Tawakoni areas.
Due to the influx of new homeowners and the overwhelming amount of tourism to the lake areas, Santa regrets to inform us he will no longer be the bearer of good tidings. His contract has been renegotiated by the State of Texas Fairies and Elves Local 101.
Set forth in the new contract, Santa’s responsibilities will no longer include the Lake Fork , Bob Sandlin, Lake Tawakoni and East Texas area. Cookie breaks will be shortened to assure satisfactory work ethics and quality.
In a press release to “The Fisherman’s Guide News”, sent out November 26, 2008 Santa’s replacement was named. Everyone can rest assured we will be in good hands. The replacement for the lake areas will be his third cousin, Bubba Claus.
Bubba Claus is originally from the South Pole. There he attended Equator High and went on to further his education by attending night school majoring in Chimney Dropping and Fire Safety.
“I share the same goal as my cousin Santa. I will deliver toys to all the boys and girls at the lakes and in the East Texas area,” said Bubba Claus in an interview with “The Fisherman’s Guide, News You Can Use.”
In the interview, to relieve concerned parents, the differences in the method of delivery were discussed at great length. Bubba Claus assured, “Christmas would be bettern’ ever and jus’ doggone good!”
The differences in delivery will include the following:

1. There will be no danger of a Grinch stealing your Christmas. On Bubba’s sleigh he has a loaded gun rack and a bumper sticker that reads: “These toys insured by Smith and Wesson.”
2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave a Bud Light and fried crappie, and hush-puppies on the fireplace mantel.
3. When Bubba Claus’ sleigh lands on your roof, do not be alarmed by the sound of barking. Bubba Claus’s sleigh will be pulled by floppy-eared flying coon dogs instead of reindeer. (It seems Santa once loaned Bubba his reindeer and now Blitzen’s head overlooks Bubba’s fireplace.)
4. No longer will you hear “On Comet, on Cupid, on Blitzen, on Donner.” Instead in a southern drawl you will hear, “Buedro, Jake, Snake, Goober, Gomer, less’ git ‘er done!”
5. For that night only and for Bubba Claus only the local speed limits will be waived. Also, in accordance with local tradition, Bubba’s bumper will have a sticker on it saying “Made in Texas by Texans, So Don’t Mess With Bubba!”
6. Bubba Claus does not wear a belt. If the children are present when he bends over to put the presents under the tree, make sure they turn their heads.
7. Out of respect for Bubba, the traditional Christmas songs like “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” and “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” will be replaced by “Bubba Shot The Jukebox” and “Grand-ma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer.”

After extended negotiations it was determined by all agencies involved, Bubba Claus would definitely fit and exceed the slot. Thus he was judged a “Keeper”!